Cover Sheet
1. What is the purpose of your argument?
The purpose of my argument is to show the dangers of children exploitation on the internet and how easy it is for sexual predators to gain access to children.
2. Who is your target audience?
My target audience are parents. It is important for parents to know that there are people out there that will hurt their children and knowing what to do to prevent that from happening can save their child from a tremendous amount of pain.
3. What is your thesis statement?
My thesis statement is “Sexual predators and offenders cause online chats to be unsafe by committing crimes against under aged children."
4. Did you learn/try anything new while growing this composition?
I have learned the many ways a predator will try to reach a child at the child’s home. There are different kinds of predators that either like to be straightforward about telling the child what they want from them and then there are the ones that will slowly make their way into the child’s life first.
5. What do you like best about your composition? About your composition process? Here's where you talk about your best experiments (Did you mix genres? Where you able to integrate ideas from different sources with your own? etc)
I have played this composition of off my first argument paper that was about children and the pros and cons of the internet. What I like about my composition is that it can warn parents of the online dangers that they aren’t aware of. It also gives advice about what a parent should be if their child is suspected to be or is a victim of inappropriate sexual behavior from an adult.
6. Of the feedback you garnered in our workshop, what piece of information was most valuable/helpful?
I have a tendency to group words in the order that the Slavic language works which is the total opposite of the English language. Michele did a great job correcting a lot of those mistakes. Also I will have to obtain a better definition of a sexual predator as the Wikipedia may have not been completely accurate.
7. Where would you like to see the most feedback/advice on your final draft?
The feedback that I would like from my final draft is to know if there was anything else that I could have done to make it a better paper.
Draft Unit Two Argument - Aldijana
Sexual Predators and their easy Prey.
Sexual predators and sexual offenders are known to make themselves at home in teen populated chatrooms. These predators make online chats unsafe while committing crimes against under aged children. They prey on lonely teens, and teens that are having problems at home. The predators get to know them and send sexually explicit images of themselves. They retrieve personal information from the children and offer support for their troubles. Often times, they send gifts and money to the teen and arrange meeting times to make their next move, which involves a sexual encounter (FBI). Parents are encouraged to monitor their children’s online activities and should know the warning signs of a child entering a dangerous zone of sex predators.
Sexual predators are individuals that are trying to or are obtaining sexual contact with another person, whereas sexual offenders are individuals that have already committed some sexual offense (Wikipedia). How can a parent protect their child from such persons on the internet? It is important to be involved in the child’s life and watch for warning signs of changed behavior. The U.S. Department of Justice Federal Bureau of Investigation has a pamphlet on their website, educating parents on sexual predators and their exploitations.
Children who are going through emotional rough times are more prone to fall for prey. The individuals who look for children online are willing to put in a lot of their time into talking to their potential victims. One kinds of these individuals takes a more slower approach to their quest and will give plenty of attention , affection, as well as gift giving to the children. They get involved in the child’s life, talk about the child’s tough times at home and get to know them by being knowledgeable of the latest children’s trends. For these predators their tactics lead them to slowly present sexually explicit material into their conversations (FBI).
The next set of predators are more aggressive and engage in sexual contact right away. These individuals enjoy pornographic images of children and seek face-to-face contact with their victims in instant messaging. The victimizing can simply be a sexually explicit chat between the child and his or her predator. The FBI also warns parents that a sexual predator could be any person of any age and not just the typically portrayed dirty old men. Teens are especially at risk, because at that point they are entering a curious stage in their life. Their will to explore the unknown is to the advantage of sexual predators and most often they will be seduced and manipulated by them. At this stage, the children and teens can give off signs that will make the parents aware of the potential dangers that their children may be in (FBI).
Victimized children usually spend an ample long amount of time online and prefer to spend it in online chatrooms. Most sexual predators and offenders look for their prey online in the evening hours, as a lot of them work during the day. Parents that find pornography on their child’s computers can be informed that their child may have already been a victim of a sexual offender. Pornography is used as a way for the sexual offender to open sexual discussions with their victims. Another red flag for the parent is when their child is receiving phone calls from men that the parents don’t know of or if the child is making long distance phone calls of which the parent is not familiar with. Most predators enjoy phone sex and have gone as far as obtaining a toll-free 800 number to be used by their potential victims. As children may not wish to give out their own number, the predator would supply them with theirs and with Caller ID simply find out the child’s number anyway. Sometimes the victims would be told to call collect so that their parents don’t find out and thus get them in trouble. This method of course results in the offender finding out the child’s number as well (FBI).
Besides the online and over the phone contact that the predator can establish, there are many more ways that the predator can make his or her way into the child’s trusting mind. Computer-sex offenders will go the extra mile to send the child gifts, letters, pornography, as well as sometimes plane tickets to meet in person. Parents should be aware of the child’s change in personality and behavior. If a child is involved in a sexually explicit conversation or is watching sexually explicit images on the computer, he or she will not want their parents to see it and therefore will turn off their monitors or quickly change their screens as the parent walks into their room. As a child establishes a relationship with their offender, the offender will work very hard on creating problems and tension between the family and the child and magnify any issues that the child may have against his or her family. Therefore, it is important for the parents to recognize when their child is overreacting over small issues and just being different and more withdrawn. Often times children that have been sexually victimized become more distant (FBI).
What can parents do to protect their children? The most important is to openly talk to them and make them aware of the dangers online. Monitoring what the child is doing online as well as checking for any pornographic material can prevent more victimization. Tracking incoming phone call numbers can easily be done if the phone plan offers Caller-ID. Some telephone companies have a feature that blocks phone numbers, making it harder for the predator to keep in touch with the child. If a child has been a victim of any sort of sexually explicit wrong doing, FBI encourages parents to report to them and to report to the local or state law enforcement and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Contact information for FBI can be found under the following link: http://www.fbi.gov/contact/fo/fo.htm and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children by simply calling 1-800-THE-LOST.
The MSNBC show “To Catch A Predator” is the prime example of how simple it sometimes can be to lure children to the hands of a predator. It is absolutely frightening to see how freely a predator can meet his or her victim face-to-face. It never ceases to amaze me of the types of people sexual predators can be. There have been episodes on the show that involved doctors, priests, old, young, and married men. What was even more sickening was that those people that were in their thirty’s, forty’s, all the way to sixty’s and beyond, were trying to meet and engage in sexual behavior with twelve, thirteen and fourteen year old children. When approached by the host of the show, each predator would say that they just wanted to talk to the child and that they didn’t know their age. Little did they know that all of their online conversations were recorded proving their lies and the children happened to be working for the law enforcement.
Thanks to MSNBC and its “To Catch A Predator” show, many sexual predators and offender have been put behind bars. It is hard to think of what could have happened to those young children in the show if it actually happened in real life. Some of the chat transcripts from the show stated that those men have met young children before and had sexual relationships with them. One of those men named David Hibish, could not guarantee that he wasn’t going to have sex with the fourteen year old girl that he came out to see that night.
To conclude on this ever growing subject, sexual predators use many tricks to enter a child’s innocent world. When children become victims of sexual predators, at which point the predator has become the offender, the child will show some sign of the dangers seeping into their lives. These signs include, but by all means are not limited to, children turning off their screens upon having their parents enter their rooms, staying up late at night in online chats, receiving phone calls from unfamiliar numbers and becoming distant and frustrated with family members. It is important to monitor the child’s online activities as well as talk to the child about the potential dangers online. If a child is armed with the right knowledge, chances are that he or she will make the right decision and stay away from harmful people.
"A Parent's Guide to Internet Safety." FBI. 28 Jan 2009 http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm.
"Sexual predator." Wikipedia. 26 February 2009. 1 Mar 2009 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_predators.
"The Hansen Files:'To Catch A Predator'." Dateline NBC. MSNBC. 1 Mar 2009 http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24128499/.
Peer Reviews
Michele's Review
Earl-
Great paper Aldijana. Your paper provides very clear informative information on how the internet can be used as a weapon against children and teens. You provide a lot of facts about warning signs that are backed up by legitimate sources. You appeal to my pathos because being a older brother of a twelve year old and a father of a six year old, I feel a need to definitely monitor what they do around a computer because of the fear that you place within me when describing the sick predators that are looking to harm children. You got an A.
Feedback
I have received great feedback from Michele. I tend to write my words in the wrong order as this is the way the Slavic language works, and Michele has fixed many of my mistakes. Nancy and Jillian gave great feedback as well.
The overall feedback was:
- Merge the first paragraphs together
- Add the fact that many predators that are on the “To Catch a Predator “ Show bring alcohol and condoms to their meeting with the child, yet deny to have wanted more than just to talk to the child.
- Add info about online programs that can protect the child
- Grammatical errors
- Work on fluency of some sentences
Reflection on Feedback
I am learning a lot through the peer reviews, it is an additional set of eyes that help me write a better paper. I will be working on all of the suggestions and revise my introduction with a better thesis statement. I will need to do a bit more research to include programs that can protect the children from sexual predators and overall polish my paper to make it all come together.
My Peer Reviews
I have enjoyed reading this paper and have learned a thing or two about the video games world. Her paper showed some great examples of how international and well spread is the gaming community. I really got her point of the different games that a person can play and how you can be anywhere in the world to do so. The paper also portrays the fact that these new games are going to be the future. In one of her paragraphs, she talked about Poke’mon and trading them to people in Japan.
I had made some grammatical corrections and also noted that I would have liked to know more about the new Nintendo Dsi. Apparently it lets you surf the web.
Sue’s paper was interesting. I remember doing an argument paper on abortion in high school. There was a lot of information that I was able to pull from. Sue’s paper contained a lot of information and lacked some emotional appeal. An emotional appeal would make it even more compelling as this is such a controversial topic. I wanted to know more about the statement that talked about unwanted children being more prone to disease. Is this more of the unwillingness of the mother’s to take care of the child or just peer and environment curse?
This seems as it will be a great paper once finished. I feel that you have established your thesis in your intro. I wish you had written a little more, because you first two paragraphs were interesting enough and left me wondering and wanting more. Can’t wait for the finished paper and if the rest of the paper turns out as great as the first two paragraphs then it will be a great piece.
Final Unit Two Argument - Aldijana
Sexual Predators and their Easy Prey
Sexual predators and offenders are known to make themselves at home in teen populated chatrooms. They are individuals that are trying to or are obtaining sexual contact with another person, whereas sexual offenders are individuals that have already committed some sexual offense (Wikipedia). Sexual predators and offenders cause online chats to be unsafe by committing crimes against under aged children. They prey on lonely teens, and teens that are having problems at home. The predators get to know them and send sexually explicit images of themselves. They retrieve personal information from the children and offer support for their troubles. Often times, they send gifts and money to the teen and arrange meeting times to make their next move, which involves a sexual encounter (FBI). How can a parent protect their child from such people on the internet? It is important to be involved in the child’s life and watch for warning signs of changed behavior. The U.S. Department of Justice Federal Bureau of Investigation has a pamphlet on their website, educating parents on sexual predators and their exploitations.
Children who are going through emotional rough times are more prone to fall for prey as the predators are very sympathetic to the children‘s feelings. The individuals who look for children online are willing to put in a lot of their time into talking to their potential victims. One kind of these individuals takes a slower approach to their quest and will give plenty of attention , affection, as well as gift giving to the children that they are perusing. They get involved in the child’s life, talk about the child’s tough times at home and get to know them by being knowledgeable of the latest children’s trends. For these predators their tactics allow them to slowly present sexually explicit material into their conversations (FBI).
The next kind of predators are more aggressive and engage in sexual contact right away. These individuals enjoy pornographic images of children and seek face-to-face contact with their victims in instant messaging. The victimizing can simply be a sexually explicit chat between the child and his or her predator. The FBI also warns parents that a sexual predator could be any person of any age and not just the typically portrayed dirty old men. Teens are especially at risk, because at that point they are entering a curious stage in their life. Their will to explore the unknown is to the advantage of sexual predators and most often they will be seduced and manipulated by them. At this stage, the children and teens can give off signs that will make the parents aware of the potential dangers that their children may be in (FBI).
Victimized children usually spend long amounts of time online and prefer to spend it in online chatrooms. Most sexual predators and offenders look for their prey online in the evening hours, as a lot of them work during the day. Parents that find pornography on their child’s computer can be informed that their child may already be a victim of a sexual offender. Pornography is used as a way for the sexual offender to open sexual discussions with their victims. Another red flag for the parent is when their child is receiving phone calls from men that the parents don’t recognize or if the child is making long distance phone calls of whom the parents are not familiar with. Most predators enjoy phone sex and have gone as far as obtaining a toll-free 800 number to be used by their potential victims. As children may not wish to give out their own number, the predator would supply them with theirs and with Caller ID simply find out the child’s number anyway. Sometimes the victims would be told to call collect so that their parents don’t find out and thus get them in trouble. This method of course results in the offender finding out the child’s number as well (FBI).
Besides online and over the phone contact that the predator can establish, there are many more ways that the predator can make his or her way into the child’s trusting mind. Computer-sex offenders will go the extra mile to send the child gifts, letters, pornography, and sometimes even plane tickets to meet in person. Parents should be aware of the child’s change in personality and behavior. If a child is involved in a sexually explicit conversation or is watching sexually explicit images on the computer, he or she will not want their parents to see it and therefore will turn off their monitors or quickly change their screens as the parent walks into their room. As a child establishes a relationship with their offender, the offender will work very hard to create problems and tension between the family and child to magnify any issues that the child may already have against his or her family. Therefore, it is important for the parents to recognize when their child is overreacting over small issues and being different and more withdrawn. Often times children that have been sexually victimized are caused to become more distant towards their friends and family (FBI). http://www.fbi.gov/contact/fo/fo.htm and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children by simply calling 1-800-THE-LOST.
The MSNBC show “To Catch A Predator” is a prime example of how simple it sometimes can be to lure children to the hands of a predator. It is absolutely frightening to see how freely a predator can meet his or her victim face-to-face. It never ceases to amaze me of the types of people sexual predators can be. There have been episodes on the show that involved doctors, priests, old, young, and married men. What was even more sickening was that those people that were in their thirty’s, forty’s, all the way to sixty’s and beyond, were trying to meet and engage in sexual behavior with twelve, thirteen and fourteen year old children. When approached by the host of the show, each predator would say that they just wanted to talk to the child and that they didn’t know their age. Little did they know that all of their online conversations were recorded proving their lies and the children happened to be working for the law enforcement.
Thanks to MSNBC and its “To Catch A Predator” show, many sexual predators and offender have been put behind bars. It is hard to think of what could have happened to those young children in the show if it all hadn’t been a set up. Some of the chat transcripts from the show stated that those men have met young children before and had sexual relationships with them. One of those men named David Hibish, could not guarantee that he wasn’t going to have sex with the fourteen year old girl that he came out to see that night. Some of the men caught on this show come prepared with condoms and alcohol, yet deny any plans of sexual or inappropriate behavior. This show has caused many parents to air on the side of caution when it comes to their children’s well being.
A website that has been designed to help parents with the internet dangers is called NetNanny.com. It provides a software for purchase that monitors and keeps children’s online experience safe. The software is an internet filter that is fully controlled by the parents. Parents have the ability to schedule internet access, halt illegal file sharing, block access to any website, enforce anti-predator blocks to predatory language in chats and also monitor browsing history. The software comes with step by step set-up instructions with a piece of mind.
To conclude on this ever growing subject, sexual predators use many tricks to enter a child’s innocent world. When children become victims of sexual predators, at which point the predator has become the offender, the child will show some sign of the dangers seeping into their lives. These signs include, but by all means are not limited to, children turning off their screens upon having their parents enter their rooms, staying up late at night in online chats, receiving phone calls from unfamiliar numbers and becoming distant and frustrated with family members. It is important to monitor the child’s online activities as well as talk to the child about the potential dangers online. If a child is armed with the right knowledge, chances are that he or she will make the right decision and stay away from harmful people.
"A Parent's Guide to Internet Safety." FBI. 28 Jan 2009
http://www.fbi.gov/publications/pguide/pguidee.htm.
Net Nanny. 25 Mar 2009
http://www.netnanny.com/
"Sexual predator." Wikipedia. 26 February 2009. 1 Mar 2009
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_predators
"The Hansen Files:'To Catch A Predator'." Dateline NBC. MSNBC. 1 Mar 2009
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/24128499/.
My Reviews for Final Arguments
I have never realized the huge online activity that the games bring. The paper gives great explanation of how players can communicate with other players and paints a great picture of how the gaming world has stepped into a futuristic time. These online games let people stay in touch with their friends and families, and the consoles let you download music or watch DVD’s. I give this paper an A as it describes the new gaming age in great detail.
I can already see improvement to this paper as it has a list of works cited at the end. I like the beginning of this paper, it places you into the situation that the woman was going through. The intro itself gives a lot of feeling and leads into the cause of legalizing abortion. There are a lot of facts with supporting citations that make this paper strong. I have learned that crime rates seem to drop when abortion is legalized. The paper is easy to understand and provides great supporting evidence. I give this paper an A.
I am not completely sure what the thesis of the paper is, and since you’ve edited your draft, I don’t know what was changed into the final product. There are a few grammatical errors, but besides that, you’ve told an interesting story. Since I don’t play video games and am not that much into the different consoles, the information you provided was interesting. I would give this paper a B, because it feels as if it needed a lot more writing or at least a stronger finish.
My review/grade ~Jillian
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