Sue - Your paper was on a very strong subject. I feel that your source could have been cited a little more. The transitions were a little rough and I feel that the paper was a little "wordy" It was a little hard to read at some points and I found myself drifting. I wasn't sure who the audience was that you were trying to reach. The topics reminded me of the excerpt in  the Bogost book. I think that you did a good job establishing your topic and backing up your argument. All in all, I feel this was a very good paper.

Lydia - Your paper caught my attention right away. I work as a server in a restauraunt so I know the feeling of what it is like to have that rock and how it effects the outcome when they are not there. I didn't stop reading the paper from the moment I started. The transitions were very smooth and the audience was clear. The thesis statement was also very clear and the topic was supporting by strong facts. I feel that there could be a little more expansion in each stage of the ripple effect to give a little more specificity to each ripple. I can't wait to see what the end product is like. Good Job!

Paul - Another very strong topic and controversial. I think that violent T.V. shows do help in molding kids into to violent people in certain ways. I feel that your paper helps to relate violence in T.V. to children. Transitions were mostly easy to follow and the paper was pretty easy to read. I feel like you are reaching out to the audience that you wanted to. The sentence structure was pretty good and the paragraph were well written. You cited some key topics and I feel like you can expand of them a bit more, like I feel there could be more examples of the tv shows or maybe even links to those show websites or youtube clips of the show to better your argument. Very good paper!

-Nathan